My petty little thoughts...

Ok, I dont know many people who can appreciate the angelic voice that Enya holds, but for those of you who do...SHE CAME OUT WITH A NEW CD! Its pretty awesome, its called Amarantine. Its totally worth listening to. I suggest anyone who can appreciate, to go out and buy this album!

I think I am going to get rid of this Live journal now. I really dont use it. Nobody really reads it, nothing in my journal is even WORTH reading. Not being dramatic btw. I mean, everything I write is usually somthing stupid and mundane. I figured that I dont really have anything interesting to say anymore. All my stories have been told...Im just boring now. I bore myself even. So I am going to decide within the next few days if I want to keep this, or if I should sent it the way of the dinosaurs. Im keeping my mouth shut a little more. Its pretty bad when you can even stand to listen to yourself speak...

http://ebaumsworld.com/2006/06/bushrecycle.html OMFG!!! does he have a fucking book of quotes that he just picks little clips and phrases out of to make his speeches!? WOW what a fucking moron.

OK, I finally feel like my mood has gotten a little better now that I have a job. Its funny, you work from the age of 15, and complain about how much it sucks, but you continue, then you get to a point in life where you are jobless, and you fucking go insane!! I honestly do love working, but hate it... Strange!? Anyway, I wouldnt really consider this a JOB, What I do is sit on me bum, read, and run a cash register. Hopefully when the garage gets up and working, we will get a little more buisness, this gas station is slow as fuck!
I think that before I go to work, I am going to find another job for a day. Subway STILL hasnt called me back, so I guess pizza hut is my next order of buisness, and perhaps california video, though I really dont know how either of those pan out for a morning job. Whatever I find, I will do. I just need to keep my time occupied. I really hate sitting around and doing nothing.

I think I want to start drawing comics again...I really miss that... A little random tid bit of o so wonderful joyness...n stuff, n junk, and so on and so forth. Yeah I only do comedy thought. It will be something like.... THE ADVENTURES OF SCUZZLEBUTT AND NEONATE!!! Or you know, somthing greater than or equal to that name. N stuff...

Bleh, I feel like shite physically today. My head, neck, throat, and nose all ache. Ive been coughing all day, and my nose wont stop running. But regardless of this, I am in a damn good mood surprisingly. I dont know what it is, but I woke up with a smile on my face, and my mood has been good ever since. Fucking right!!!!!

WOO felt that it was only appropriate for me to give a little woohoo to 666! HAPPY 666 YALL!!!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHA HAHAHAHAH HAHAH HAHH AAHAHAH AHAHA OMG, that is one of the funniest things I saw on ebaumsworld. I dont know why I found that so funny, but it was goddamn hilarious!!!! hahahahahahahah.....oh shit!

OMG!!! hahaha one of our cats was dragging his ass across the floor... HAHAHHAHAHHA all you could hear was thud thud thud thud on the kitchen floor from his front paws pulling him along. IT WAS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!! OH MY CHRIST...I CANT STOP LAUGHING!!!!

Ok, I listened to a CD that always cheers me up, it worked! yay! and Got a fucking awesome magazine in the mail. All of its contents are a little pricey but well worth it. Once I get settled I am SOOOOOO getting a Digital SLR. I almost bought one when they first came out but they were 800+ dollars and I didnt feel like getting ANOTHER credit card. haha, anywho, im going to go clean out my car and junk and get it ready to sell.

OMG today was nice. I went outside in my bare feet and felt the loverly grass....and dirt. It was a little moist cause we have had rain for a couple days now. I wondered to the back of the house and looked into the woods. I noticed something, there were a line of moss covered rocks that creat a perfect "L" shape....And then I remembered...our house lies on half of an old stone foundation. The house before must have been here since the 1800's. I start to think of what it must have looked like. I know that it used to be a apple orchard, though many of the apple trees died before we built the house in 1988. Standing in the grass near the foundation made me think....I wonder what room im in right now?"

Yeah....Its a nice day out. My mood is pretty good considering today i got 2 shitty things in the mail, a past due car payment and a hearing notice for the drunk in public underage possesion thingy. So i am going to lose my licence for 90 days. But it doesnt matter cause im selling my car. And i did a monumentous thing today. I deleted my ex-fiance's phone number. Its been a year since i heard from Josh... its time to fucking let go. He killed my heart, and finally, he is COMPLETELY gone. I actually feel a little better. Today has actually been a pretty good day. I feel good, its warm and loverly! and JESSICA IS GUNNA CALL ME!!! woooohooooo!

GODDAMN FUCKING STUPID SHIT! GRABBED WRONG SHAMPOO (IT WAS MEDICATED) AND IT GOT IN MY EYE. MY EYE IS SWOLLEN AND SO RED IT LOOKS LIKE ITS BLEEDING. THAT WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST PAINS EVER. i THINK THAT SHIT ETCHED A HOLE IN MY GODDAMN EYE! FUCK! THAT FUCKING HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

HAHAHAHAHHA I have a question....Is it SUPPOSE to be a insult or something if you get in a argument and they take you off top 8?! I guess some people live, drink and piss myspace.... with all honesty, i like VF better, and that place is a fuckng fashion show! JESUS PEOPLE!!! get a clue, complaining about being taken off top 8 is like complaining that you spilled your goddamn sippie cup or something! Or threatening to take someone off is like.....oh yeah well you can come to my birthday party....and ive got clowns and a bounce house! hhahahahahhahaha I find this way too amusing for my own good

Shit, i really really dont know what did this to me today, but I was SUPER fucking motivated....all goddamn day! I cleaned up the office/storage room where all my junk is. I got out a bunch of stuff that I am going to sell or is already sold and ready to deliver. I figured an entire plan for moving, everything from expenditures, to transportation. Ive been QUITE a busy body today...I also called my insurence company to make a claim on my car, made a apraizal appointment, Im going to clean my car and see how much i will sell it for, probably tomorrow if it doesnt rain. I just finally think im getting shit going...its great!

5 in the morn, 30 degrees, the sun is just barely peeking over the forest. The birds are singing there morning songs, the air is calm, the roads are dead...all you hear are the birds and the sound of the wind calmly breezing through the trees. I grabbed my oversized peacoat, slip on my birkenstocks and light up a black and mild and wonder off...

I breathe the cold air and cigar smoke deep into my lungs, enjoying every flavor that it holds. I can feel the cold already sinking deep. My toes are red and numb, and my fingers a pale shade of blue, yet I press on... I hear the sand on the sides of the roads, crunch beneath my sandle clad feet, which seems to blend wonderfully with the wind and bird song.



I finally get to the bridge, stare at the water that rushes below. The blackstream, its called. And up until now, it never occured to me why it was called that. I finally realized that the water is a dark shade of brown, so dark it looks black, like onyx. Beautiful.... I walk a little past the bridge, quite cold and numb, but with each breath of the cigar brings a feeling of warmth and comfort.



The walk didnt last long, i turned soon and headed toward the small raised ranch that I grew up in. I wait till the end of the bridge to take my last puff of the black and mild and put it out on the gaurd rail. I keep the stub, it almost seems sacreligous to just leave it there on the ground. To just toss somthing that gave you warmth and comfort.... I press on.......



I come to the end of my drive way and look into the ditch that rests under a gian white pine. Memories of throwing pine cones like grenades at any unsuspecting car that passes by, and sitting there to watch the sunset, flood my brain. Up the driveway, into the house, I strip off the peacoat, put away my birkenstocks and sit back on the sofa, wondering....how could a place so beautiful...be the most depressing place in the world?

Im slowly going crazy...........and for once, im completely fine with that

Well, today I have to go home. Kinda sucky, dont really want to leave and have been thinking of a million excuses not to. But imma look at it this way, the sooner I get home, the sooner I get to plan out coming to live here. Maybe if I can manage to get things all squared away, hopefully it can be in like a month or 2. Granted I would love to just stay and never leave in the first place. C.T. is all over me, hehe I can tell she misses Jessica though. Cause she all up in her blankets and shit, getting all cuddly with jessica's stuff. Thats so cute!!! Jessica your cat fucking loves you d00d!

bleh, im NOT looking forward to the bus ride home. Nor am I all too happy that I have to call my work again, for the 3rd time and tell them that im still in delaware. haha, if i dont get fired for this then I will be surprised. No big deal though, that place sucks balls big time anyway! So what I figured what im gunna do, is prolly walk around and junk before I leave (if i can get the motivation) and grab a couple of job app's or something. And then when I get home, figure out how much money its gunna take to get me here with gas and stuff. Plus I need and oil change



goddamn, my eye fucking hurts like a bitch, it has been all night. Fucking A d00d! It burns like fire! i have no idea what the hell got in it, but it doesnt feel too good whatever it is. Anywho's enough jibber jabber for now. back to killing time!

Ja mon!Im over at Jessy's. D00d, getting here was a hassel or hastle or however you uh.....spell that and junk. F'n bus driver got lost in NYC. It was funny though. I missed my bus in port authority and good thing i looked and asked around because the last bus was gunna leave in a half hour. I met a rasta d00d in line. He was pretty cool! We were talking about a whole bunch o shite. Its funny, no one seems to know where the hell maine is! hahahhahaha i got wasted on the bus and stumbled off! it was great. OH YEAH! i burnt my hand. I was wondering why it felt odd! holy shit, it welted right up. D00d, i didnt even realize that my flesh was like.... buring off when it happend! hahahhahaha im a nimrod!

ok, well Im starting to get pretty sick and tired of being belittled and felt low. This is the umteenth millionth time that it happend. Why must EVERYONE feel the need, to make me feel inferior to them? Why do they have to put me below them? Am I not good enough, or smart enough to be treated as a goddamn equal? Sigh....whatever. I dont even care anymore. Im gunna go back on my meds for my brain. The only downfall is i become a emotionless zombie. But at least i dont have to deal with those pesky emotions.